10 Things that Make for a Hostile Work Environment in this Climate

  1. Having to change a diaper during work hours (unless your job is to change diapers in which case…carry on) and not even getting hazard pay for it.
  2. Carrying out duties for two full time jobs simultaneously. No pun intended with the duties.
  3. Having to prepare everyone’s meals and then on top of it being verbally accosted for cutting someone’s food in the wrong shape; squares apparently taste different than triangles.
  4. Getting sneezed on, drooled on, or coughed on and then having to teach the person the right way to wash their hands. At this rate I could work for the CDC.
  5. Having to explain to the new members of your department why having their fingers up their nose creates a contagion risk. Move over Dr. Fauci, there’s a new sheriff in town.
  6. New co-workers exposing both old co-workers and myself to a “see-food” experience during a video conference.
  7. Adopting a secret identity after hearing, “Mom. Mommy. Mama. Ma. Mooooom! Look at me! Watch this. Mom, did you see that?” every single time co-workers perform some mundane task. I mean, I am happy that they are drinking their water when they get thirsty, or going to the bathroom when they get the urge, but do I really need to praise them every ten minutes?
  8. Needing to break up fights in the new office. I understand that one person didn’t like the way the other person looked at them, but I did not sign up to be a bouncer.
  9. Having to rinse some kind of bodily fluid off of a co-worker’s clothing and then launder it all while having a serious phone conversation with your boss.
  10. Finding out that there is in fact a limit to the decibels that the human ear can withstand.

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